Sunday, August 28, 2011

EPIC DONUT NIGHT

The following story is based on actual events.

The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Proceed with caution.

EPIC DONUT NIGHT

It started as a pretty typical laid back Saturday night. I went to the xfit class in the morning, had a great workout, went with my friend to the pool, had a great lunch and got home to chill.  I was texting with my friend Alice about possibly getting together along with Chester for a fun donut run to Krispy Kreme in Burbank. It was an on going joke and we were going to try and do it.  In between all of this I was chatting with Kathy and she mentioned her and her friends were going to be partying in DTLA and may be hanging out at a  local bar called The York.  The York was a spot that was thrown in our planning too, as a place to possibly go.  Well...this may be a good night!

I met up with Alice and we headed out to grab a bite to eat.  After dinner Chester called and we met up with him.  We had to drop off Alice's car and then the 3 of us headed to The York.  We walk up to the door...around 11or so. I am actually not really sure what time is.  This was a sign we were going to have a fun time.  One of the roided out doormen that checked our IDs was swiggin on a Muscle Milk. HAHAHA...I mean let's be more cliche right?  This dude is standing outside a bar on a Sat night drinking a Muscle Milk.  Get out of here...idiot.  FUNNY!

The night started out a little slow...just hanging at the bar, drinking a little...people watching.  I received a text from Kathy that her and her friend were coming down.  Sweet.  The odds are getting better...2 guys and 1 girl is no bueno.  As we were were hanging...BOOM.  Mary comes walking up with her friend Maggie!  Oh wow...what are you doing here? TOTALLY RANDOM!  So now we are having some fun.  Mary lets us know she is waiting for a text from her friend that she needs to pick up...Laura.  So now we are doing quite well.  Then who walks in?  Cathy and her friend Denise!  Ok...so..let's recap thus far.

me
Chester
Alice
Mary
Maggie
Kathy
Denise
*Kathy had like one guy with her but I forgot his name....so we have a pretty good little crew growing.

Mary and I chatted about if we heard from ANOTHER mutual friend, Eric..and IceMan.    So I texted Eric and IceMan...they were leaving a spot in Hollywood and would meet us.  BOOM...the crew grows yet again.

Mary and Maggie leave to go pick up Laura and bring her back.  OK....another roll call....


me
Chester
Alice
Mary
Maggie
Kathy
Denise
Laura
Eric
IceMan

Let's just say...the evening was getting good.  With EVERYONE there...we just chatted, some dancing, drinking and other activities.  Here are some bullets:


  • Chester grinding his pelvic region on various girls
  • Lots of drinking/ordering water
  • Gaining access to an off limits area behind the bathrooms and leaving because of the stench
  • Various lap dances and rib tickling
  • Boob flicking
  • Everyone getting parking tickets
  • Shit talking by all
  • Fun by all
OK...it is now almost 2AM.  Bar is closed...where shall we go?  DONUTS!!!!  Chester SWEARS the Burbank Krispy Kreme is 24 hours. He KNOWS this...I seem to recall they close at 10. I get outvoted and we gather the troops.  LETS GO!!!!  Krispy Kreme donuts are on the brain. We walk out to the lot and yes everyone has parking tickets. FAIL.

We pile in two cars and off to Burbank we go. I of course drive Chester's car and inside I have Chester and Alice in the backseat.  I am pretty much Driving Miss Daisy/Taxi/Bang Bus. Cathy and Denise are in their own car but we lost them on the way through Eagle Rock.We cruise through HLP and over the hill to Eagle Rock on the way to the 5 north.  We are passing the Plaza and I get a call from the Eric in the second car that maybe we should go somewhere else? We were passing Yum Yum donuts..so we stop in that lot.  We have a quick convo.

Are we going?  Not going? A little drama ensues...back and forth...bare in mind it is around 2 or 215AM. We are discuss our options.  Some people suggest heading home and calling it a night. More back and forth...and we agree let's just go to Krispy Kreme.  Back in the cars...but we now have Eric in our car.  So off we go.  

Hit the 5 north...and we see it.  FOUR LANES closed.  FOUR.  It is backing up and fast...we are trying to exit Burbank Blvd...and it is nothing but red brake lights.  Chester and Alice both have to PEE SO BAD they are going to hurt their urethras...per Chester's medical analysis.  The exit is blocked...all four lanes. BLOCKED!

Chester is SCREAMING for me to put the car in park and he will drive the car INTO the exit and get us off this freeway. I am screaming back NO...we are screaming screaming and screaming.  I fall under the peer pressure...and PULL INTO THE BLOCKED OFF FOUR LANES and attempt to exit.  We drive and of course the exit is BLOCKED..ROAD CLOSED.  I have to swerve back into the ONE lane of traffic...now we are stuck...it is moving like 10 ft every 10 mins.  This is a bad situation for the PEE PEOPLE in the back seat.  We move along..inching away..inching away...not moving.  

FINALLY CHESTER and ERIC HAD ENOUGH....they got out of the car...and jumped the freeway.  Let me repeat...2 guys...jumped out of the car...on a northbound freeway, jumped the divider crossed the south bound lanes into the shrubs and over the fence to Krispy Kreme...which we could clearly see from the car.  Yes...that is what happened.  Of course both sides of the freeway are pretty much shut down. So the south bound lanes are empty.  Again..it is around 2:30AM.  Now it is me and poor Alice in the car...she is going to die if she does not pee. We are slowly inching our way. We get close and close and see it.  The southbound lanes are all closed because of a pretty bad accident. They are letting one or two cars through one at a time.  Alice is screaming at this point.  She needs to PEE bad....

Cell phone is blowing up...guess what. KK is CLOSED.  YUP.  NO DONUTS.  KK IS CLOSED.  Sooooo...we tell them to wait.  Kathy is trying to get to KK and meet back with us.  Mary and her car is god knows where....we lost them since before the guys jumped out of the car.  Alice and I are inching along and we see it. The lanes open  up and we SCOOOOOT over and get off the freeway.  We pull into a 24 hr Jack in the Box and Alice gets to pee...FINALLY.  We get back in the car...and head back to KK to regroup.

We pull up on Victory Pl and Empire and there standing on the street is Chester, Eric, Iceman and I see Mary's car and her crew all parked and looking for a place to pee.  It was comedy.  So we chat...it is now around 300AM.  Mary's car wants to go home.  Iceman had to get home and well...it was a tad frustrating with the whole KK run being a bust.  Everyone's buzz has worn off at this point...so Chester screams...WE ARE GETTING DONUTS!  So we pile back in...and the 4 of us.  Me, Chester, Alice and Eric go to get donuts.  

We got our donuts.

We ended up in La Crescenta at a place called Foster's Family Donuts. 24 hours.

We got back into the car and headed home.....it was around 330AM.  We dropped off Alice...I got to my car..and Chester took Eric home.  What a night.....

We have some plans that were discussed like a Bday celebration..and a Karaoke outing.  I hope we get to do it....it was a great night with some great people.  FUN as all get out!

THE END

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